Despite the fact that up-to-half of all marriages end in divorce, it still seems to be spoken of in hushed voices with a raised brow and judgmental tone. I, too, once spoke of it in that way – before I knew better. I always thought divorce was for people who didn’t take their marriages seriously. After all, if you were truly committed, you could make it work, right?
When I learned that my preconceived notions of divorce were wrong, I found myself on the receiving end of hushed voices and raised eyebrows. I felt labeled and judged for a long time. Then, I realized the problem others had with my situation was because of their own preconceived notions and misunderstandings. I had to learn to respond to questions from them and myself in a healthy way. Continue reading →
Let’s be honest, divorce changes you in ways you may not even realize until much later in life. It can affect your expectations, warp your perspective and change you for the worse if you let it. If you don’t want your future to look like your past, get proactive about working through those thoughts and feelings leftover from your damaged relationship. Continue reading →
When your friend wants to vent after an exasperating divorce-related experience, it’s not only understandable, but necessary. A traditional African proverb says, “When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.” When you provide a safe, objective space to vent, you help your friend protect his or her “grass” – whether that’s the children, mutual friends, extended family, or his or her own emotional and physical well-being.
Because it’s likely your friend will not be at his or her best when venting, here are some ideas to help you be a more skillful, compassionate listener. Continue reading →
Whenever I’m going through something difficult, it’s far easier to focus on what’s wrong with my life than what’s right. But I find that when I make myself focus on the good instead of the bad, I feel a whole lot better, in general. Studies have proven that positive people live longer, more fulfilling lives. However, it’s only natural to feel hopeless and desperate while going through a life-changing divorce, so your friend is going to need constant support and cheerleading from you. Here are some ways to help her “look on the sunny side of life.” Continue reading →