Unfortunately, divorce and financial issues go hand in hand. Your “friend in need” may be in new territory with her finances and scared of the unknown. Perhaps her partner was responsible for handling the investments in the relationship or your friend isn’t sure if she makes enough money to cover her bills.
Whether preparing for a divorce or acclimating to life post break-up, financial empowerment is a key component to your friend’s happiness. This month’s tip is to help your friend get her finances in order so she may feel secure and confident in this new chapter of her life.
Getting organized is the first step to taking the fear out of money. Help your friend face this challenge with these 4 tips: Continue reading →
With as many as one in two couples heading straight for divorce court within a few years of marriage, divorce is now more common and socially acceptable than it was in our grandparents’ day. Just because it happens more often, however, doesn’t mean it’s any less overwhelming.
When people are stressed, they tend to only hear bits and pieces of all the details they need to focus on. A natural response for those in a support role is to offer “comfort,” which unintentionally comes out in the form of “control.” All of us at one point or another have to resist the temptation to offer advice. Even when well intentioned, telling a friend to leave the marriage or treat the spouse in a certain way is generally one-sided. It is impossible to know all there is to know about your friend’s marriage as an outsider, even if you are very close friends and your friend regularly confides in you. Continue reading →
Whether you’re a family member or a friend, your role with the one who is going through a divorce is different depending on the relationship. Understanding the subtle, yet important, differences based on how you’re connected can help you understand your boundaries and how you can best help.
Friends are the place to vent.
As a friend, you have more flexibility in dealing with the divorce. While it’s helpful for you to remain objective and help your friend take the high road, you are the better candidate for vents. You can be the place where your friend can say anything – without impacting the longevity of the friendship in a negative way. Continue reading →
One of the hardest adjustments to make during divorce may be financial adjustments because they affect so many other areas. Regardless of how much each spouse contributed to the household income, losing even a small portion can make a big difference.
Join in the Savings
Everyone can cut out a few things here and there, so while your friend is dealing with the difficult task of cutting spending, you can show support by doing the same. Life changes are always easier made with a friend. Why not add to your own savings in the process?
Here are some ways to help your friend’s adjustment to a leaner wallet a little easier: Continue reading →
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Spring is a time for renewal and your friend in need may be yearning for a fresh start. However, taking that first step requires a boost of confidence. With your support, your friend can start to transform her surroundings and create a nurturing environment to begin the next season of a great new life.
Here are three easy tips for you to suggest to your friend:
- Make space for the “new.” Your friend’s next act needs room to grow. Her home may be filled with photos, mementos or items from her past relationship. Honeymoon photos could be moved off of the mantle place and placed in the closet. You may want to gently suggest that such items be tossed, recycled, stored or even donated. Explain that the cleared space can be filled with items from new experiences. New photos from a recent vacation would be perfect for the living room.
- Change perspective with small steps. Your friend’s home may need an updated look. New bed linens or a throw blanket make a room look inviting. Introducing colors like tangerine orange, ruby red or green grass will lighten the mood of her space. Even cut flowers or new potted plants will refresh the surroundings. Propose these simple changes to your friend – and her outlook will be renewed.
- Reinforce self-value with your friendship. Your friend may be stuck in the pain and the loss of the split. She may not be able to take these steps without your guidance. Suggesting that you join her in the process will ensure success. Organizing her space, selecting some great colors and shopping together will be fun for you both. Your friend will rely on your friendship to shine the light on her self-worth. She’ll also trust your sense of style to help select the perfect new lamp.
Our homes are sanctuaries for rejuvenation. By following these tips, you can influence your friend to create a home where she can feel safe to fully bloom.