If your friend has been struggling with a decision to start a divorce, a large concern can be what do to about the debt from the marriage and the other spouse accumulating debt during these last months before filing. Your friend can be concerned that the spouse may be spending more than usual because they know that a divorce is inevitable.
Regardless of what debts your friend may be facing, help them try to get organized and gather information about their current financial situation. The biggest advice is not to panic. Many people think their spouse may be hoarding or taking money, when that is typically far from the case. Remind them to get the facts first before jumping to conclusions. Continue reading →
If your friend has been struggling with a decision to end a relationship, that choice can be further complicated if it’s made during the holidays. He or she may be struggling with several conflicting feelings. On the one hand, the decision may have been a long time coming and the New Year is time for a fresh start. Practically speaking, he or she may want to claim “Single” or “Head of Household” on taxes and need to finalize the divorce by year end to do so.
On the other hand, your friend may want to wait until January to file so divorce isn’t mixed with the holidays – especially if children or visiting relatives are a factor.
Regardless of whether your friend decides to get divorced before the end of the year or after, there are things you can suggest he or she start doing to simplify the process and ease a little of the emotional burden: Continue reading →
In theory, I love the holidays! In reality, I’m relieved when they are over. Many times, I’m convinced that this is going to be the year that the season will be stunning. But then I remember – the holidays don’t trump life! In fact, they often complicate it. When life is riddled with loss, change and conflict, the holidays don’t wait for healing.
The holidays will likely be a difficult time for anyone facing the loss of his or her marriage. Your friend may lean in hard, and you may not know what to say, how to help or what to give. More than ever, they need the gift of empathy.
These four attributes of empathy are based on Brené Brown’s book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)1: Continue reading →