All posts tagged divorcing friends

How to Help Your Divorced Friend Deal with Dating

Man and woman have awkward first date at a movie theatre.

I remember when I first got married how thankful I was to be done with dating! Then when I was single again, I realized if I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, I’d have to get back to dating eventually.

Dating after divorce is different for everyone. Some may go through the healing process and feel ready to start over in a few months. Others may take years to feel ready. Hopefully you can help your friend learn from some of the mistakes I made in dating after divorce.

Jumping in Too Soon

It may be tempting for your friend to get right back into dating, but taking time to grow and heal from the divorce is the most important thing. Remind him or her to take time to focus on learning and healing from past mistakes to help foster a healthy relationship when the time is right. In my case, I began projecting mistakes from my marriage onto each person I dated because I hadn’t taken the time to fully heal from my past situation and work through my fears.

Jumping in Too Deep

Falling head over heels for the first person who shows interest is just as tempting as dating too soon. I found myself much too serious about the first guy I dated after my divorce and when it didn’t work out, I was devastated. Continue reading →

How to Keep Social Media from Becoming Social Drama During Divorce

Woman with Child Suffering Divorce Social Media Drama

Everyone sees when your Facebook status goes from “Married” to “It’s Complicated” and inevitably to “Single.” It’s difficult to watch your world fall apart privately, let alone in front of the virtual world.

Even if it’s an amicable split, social media can be a haven for rumors and unwanted attention. The ex may be posting pictures of his or her new life – with the kids, a new home or a new significant other. If your friend has unresolved feelings, the hurt goes beyond simply closing a chapter in life.

Here are some ways you can help your friend cope with rumors, gossip and other unwanted or negative attention. Continue reading →

3 Tips To Help A Friend Prepare for Divorce Filing

Prepare for a Divorce Filing

If your friend has been struggling with a decision to end a relationship, that choice can be further complicated if it’s made during the holidays. He or she may be struggling with several conflicting feelings. On the one hand, the decision may have been a long time coming and the New Year is time for a fresh start.  Practically speaking, he or she may want to claim “Single” or “Head of Household” on taxes and need to finalize the divorce by year end to do so.

On the other hand, your friend may want to wait until January to file so divorce isn’t mixed with the holidays – especially if children or visiting relatives are a factor.

Regardless of whether your friend decides to get divorced before the end of the year or after, there are things you can suggest he or she start doing to simplify the process and ease a little of the emotional burden: Continue reading →

4 Ways to Show Your Divorcing Friend Empathy

empathy

In theory, I love the holidays! In reality, I’m relieved when they are over.  Many times, I’m convinced that this is going to be the year that the season will be stunning. But then I remember – the holidays don’t trump life!  In fact, they often complicate it.  When life is riddled with loss, change and conflict, the holidays don’t wait for healing.

The holidays will likely be a difficult time for anyone facing the loss of his or her marriage. Your friend may lean in hard, and you may not know what to say, how to help or what to give. More than ever, they need the gift of empathy.

These four attributes of empathy are based on Brené Brown’s book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)1: Continue reading →

4 Top Benefits of Helping Your Divorcing Friend Get Social with Exercise

Get Social with Exercise

We’ve all been there – lying on the couch and no natural force will get you moving. Picture this: the remote flips past the exercise channel and staring you in the face is a cheerful, glowing, fit trainer jumping around in front of a group of good looking athletes.  Cut to your friend on the couch beside you who is carrying the stress of a breakup.  You can use the magical power of friendship to take on the supportive role of that trainer. This is your chance to influence your friend to release that pressure and have some fun by exercising.

“Exercise is a terrific way to release natural endorphins, bond with friends and gain confidence and strength,” says Mary Helen Bowers, Professional Ballerina and Founder of Ballet Beautiful.  A simple online search of social exercise options will reveal new activities to try like flag football and mud races.  You and your “friend in need” can enjoy these together.

Here are the top four benefits of getting social with exercise: Continue reading →