All posts tagged divorce

The Top 5 Legal Documents Your Divorcing Friend Needs to Update Now

by Alicia J. Klat, Esq. on February 5, 2013
Emergency Room Sign
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As the New Year starts, it’s likely your “friend in need” has resolved to deal with the many issues, emotions and new logistics they need to manage during this period of transition. It’s easy to put off the critical task of updating (or in some cases, creating) emergency family documents. Although this goal may first seem overwhelming, it will be much easier if you complete it together…and you’ll both benefit from the outcome.

Encouraging your friend to update their documents is important because often a spouse is the named emergency contact (or the default contact in most states). A current point-person needs to be named for decisions relating to minor children, health and finances. Finishing this task will empower your friend by avoiding unnecessary conflicts during an emergency situation.
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How to Help Your Divorced Friend Deal with Dating

by Andria C. on January 29, 2013
Man and woman have awkward first date at a movie theatre.
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I remember when I first got married how thankful I was to be done with dating! Then when I was single again, I realized if I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, I’d have to get back to dating eventually.

Dating after divorce is different for everyone. Some may go through the healing process and feel ready to start over in a few months. Others may take years to feel ready. Hopefully you can help your friend learn from some of the mistakes I made in dating after divorce.

Jumping in Too Soon

It may be tempting for your friend to get right back into dating, but taking time to grow and heal from the divorce is the most important thing. Remind him or her to take time to focus on learning and healing from past mistakes to help foster a healthy relationship when the time is right. In my case, I began projecting mistakes from my marriage onto each person I dated because I hadn’t taken the time to fully heal from my past situation and work through my fears.

Jumping in Too Deep

Falling head over heels for the first person who shows interest is just as tempting as dating too soon. I found myself much too serious about the first guy I dated after my divorce and when it didn’t work out, I was devastated. Continue reading →

Three Do’s and One Don’t To Help Your Divorcing Friend Deal With Debt

by Lacey Noel on January 22, 2013
A woman looks through her bills
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If your friend has been struggling with a decision to start a divorce, a large concern can be what do to about the debt from the marriage and the other spouse accumulating debt during these last months before filing. Your friend can be concerned that the spouse may be spending more than usual because they know that a divorce is inevitable.

Regardless of what debts your friend may be facing, help them try to get organized and gather information about their current financial situation. The biggest advice is not to panic. Many people think their spouse may be hoarding or taking money, when that is typically far from the case. Remind them to get the facts first before jumping to conclusions. Continue reading →

How to Be Vented To

by Nancy Schornack on January 15, 2013
One woman screams at another through a tin can telephone
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When your friend wants to vent after an exasperating divorce-related experience, it’s not only understandable, but necessary.  A traditional African proverb says, “When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.” When you provide a safe, objective space to vent, you help your friend protect his or her “grass” – whether that’s the children, mutual friends, extended family, or his or her own emotional and physical well-being.

Because it’s likely your friend will not be at his or her best when venting, here are some ideas to help you be a more skillful, compassionate listener. Continue reading →

How to Keep Social Media from Becoming Social Drama During Divorce

by Andria C. on January 8, 2013
Woman with Child Suffering Divorce Social Media Drama
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Everyone sees when your Facebook status goes from “Married” to “It’s Complicated” and inevitably to “Single.” It’s difficult to watch your world fall apart privately, let alone in front of the virtual world.

Even if it’s an amicable split, social media can be a haven for rumors and unwanted attention. The ex may be posting pictures of his or her new life – with the kids, a new home or a new significant other. If your friend has unresolved feelings, the hurt goes beyond simply closing a chapter in life.

Here are some ways you can help your friend cope with rumors, gossip and other unwanted or negative attention. Continue reading →

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