It’s time for that class reunion, and you are freshly divorced. Part of you wants to show up to see old friends and catch up. Part of you feels you can only go if you fake your way through. And another part wants to avoid that reunion like the plague.
It’s confusing because in some quiet moments you are feeling braver, more hopeful, and more sure of yourself than you have in years. On the other hand, public appearances that entail the telling of your divorce story can fill you with dread and send you into orbit. Why?
Well…let’s talk about shame. It’s that insidious experience that can be as obscure and sneaky as a termite eating away at the foundation of your soul, or as blatantly crushing as a 6-ton elephant. It’s an intense feeling that coerces you to disappear or inflate when all you really want to do is show up and simply be you. Continue reading →
When it comes to deciding how to divide property in a divorce, some people would just as easily choose a root canal without pain medicine over letting their former spouse get anything. Sometimes someone may be upset about the bigger picture and holding on to possessions might be a last ditch effort to hold onto something else. Sometimes someone feels so angry, he or she doesn’t want the ex to have anything. Continue reading →
If you are separated and struggling to make a decision about your marriage, you are likely swimming in the pool of ambivalence – fearful to end the marriage, yet unable to make changes to better the relationship. While in the short run ambivalence may feel safe, eventually it sets the stage for an unnecessary crisis. With some thoughtful goals and actions, a couple can use separation to avoid crisis and gain beneficial direction for their relationship. Here are a few healthy ways to use your time apart from each other: Continue reading →
Going through a divorce can be very hard for everyone involved. On days when you feel that a lot is out of control– it’s likely that your children feel the same way. To help restore order and minimize the drama, parents can help by putting the new “rules of order” in writing. Continue reading →