After going through a traumatic life experience like divorce, it can be hard to find yourself again. The importance of carving out “me time” is not only therapeutic and healing, but it can be fun as well.
For more on why “me time” is important physically and emotionally, check out A Woman’s Guide To Me Time.
It’s difficult enough to find “me time” between work and parental duties when you have a spouse helping you. Now, picture your divorced friend and imagine that it’s even harder when you don’t have that extra adult helping you. The schedule of a divorced parent is definitely different and often times results in more work for the single parent. Most likely your friend is trying to spend more time with the kids on the days they are together, but then the off-days off get crowded with errands and other work. It can seem like an eternal catch-22.
Finding “me time” isn’t impossible. Here are some tips to help a friend in need.
- Identify Gaps in Scheduling - Set aside some time to sit down with your friend to go over the weekly schedule. Find pockets during each day where your friend has some potential “me time.” Look for varying increments of time too. You can easily get some time with just 15 minutes. However, every now and again allow for a bigger break, so find some chunks of one hour or more at least once a week.
- Offer Your Services - Look for opportunities to help your divorced friend make some “me time.” If you know your friend enjoys working out, offer to watch the kids so she can get in a workout. Perhaps you can take the kids for a few hours in the afternoon so he can watch the playoff game with his friends. Offering help every now and again is a great way to allow your friend to enjoy some quality time – guilt-free.
- Give Reminders - Let your divorced friend know that it’s okay to take some “me time.” The kids will be okay if mom or dad has a break every now and again. Remind your friend that “me time” is essential so that family time can be more productive. You can even send nice text or email reminders.
The importance of “me time” is crucial and should not be neglected. “Me time” doesn’t have to be a long period of time during each day or each week, it just has to be something meaningful and positive. “Me time” can be used for an hour long massage or a five minute meditation in the park. It doesn’t matter how long it lasts, it just matters that it is something that your friend enjoys.