How to Be Single After Being a Couple

How to be single after being a couple

You might not have thought you’d find yourself going from me to we and back to me. The good news is you can survive and even thrive after divorce. There are many things you can do to transition through this stage of life and actually enjoy it!

Place your mental health and the mental health of your children into the number one spot. Make sure everyone has some professional counseling and that both parents agree to respect each other for the sake of the children. Working hard toward these goals can help ensure a thriving future. Here are a few ways you can transition to being single after being a couple. Continue reading →

Let’s Talk about Shame

How to deal with Shame after divorce

It’s time for that class reunion, and you are freshly divorced. Part of you wants to show up to see old friends and catch up. Part of you feels you can only go if you fake your way through. And another part wants to avoid that reunion like the plague.

It’s confusing because in some quiet moments you are feeling braver, more hopeful, and more sure of yourself than you have in years. On the other hand, public appearances that entail the telling of your divorce story can fill you with dread and send you into orbit. Why?

Well…let’s talk about shame. It’s that insidious experience that can be as obscure and sneaky as a termite eating away at the foundation of your soul, or as blatantly crushing as a 6-ton elephant. It’s an intense feeling that coerces you to disappear or inflate when all you really want to do is show up and simply be you. Continue reading →

How to Handle When Friends Leave After Divorce

How to Help When Friends Leave after divorce

For a long time after my divorce I wondered, “What had I done to push my friends away? It wasn’t till years later, and more difficult circumstances that followed, I realized an important truth: People tend to avoid things they don’t understand and situations that make them uncomfortable.

Here are a few things I could have done to help those friends understand and be more involved in my situation.

Continue reading →

Post Divorce – How to Do Things Alone

How to do things alone post-divorce

So the divorce is finalized, you had a post-divorce party and everyone has left. You are single again –what now?

While at first being alone after divorce can be scary, isolating and lonely, it does get easier. Once you learn how to be comfortable being alone after divorce, you may find that you feel empowered, independent, peaceful, self-confident and self-loved.

Here are some things you can do with your new time to yourself. Continue reading →

Living Wholeheartedly in the Presence of Divorce

Living Wholeheartedly in the face of divorce

“I see that cultivating a Wholehearted life is not like trying to reach a destination. It’s like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know that we’re heading in the right direction.”
—Dr. Brené Brown

Are you feeling undone? Divorce has potentially dismantled your home, your family, your identity and your life in ways never imagined. What does it mean to “live wholeheartedly” when what you feel is that you “live in a dreadful mess”?

Wholehearted living is defined by Dr. Brené Brown as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” In her book The Gifts of Imperfection (Hazelden Publishing, 2010) Dr. Brown explains that worthiness is cultivated through the daily practice of courage, compassion and connection – three daring and meaningful intentions that are known to sustain us during our most difficult seasons of life. Continue reading →