Living Wholeheartedly in the Presence of Divorce

Living Wholeheartedly in the face of divorce

“I see that cultivating a Wholehearted life is not like trying to reach a destination. It’s like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know that we’re heading in the right direction.”
—Dr. Brené Brown

Are you feeling undone? Divorce has potentially dismantled your home, your family, your identity and your life in ways never imagined. What does it mean to “live wholeheartedly” when what you feel is that you “live in a dreadful mess”?

Wholehearted living is defined by Dr. Brené Brown as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” In her book The Gifts of Imperfection (Hazelden Publishing, 2010) Dr. Brown explains that worthiness is cultivated through the daily practice of courage, compassion and connection – three daring and meaningful intentions that are known to sustain us during our most difficult seasons of life. Continue reading →

How Much or How Little to Say to the Kids

telling kids about your divorce

Telling your kids you are divorcing is probably one of the hardest things you will have to do. There is never really a good time to tell your children this news, however, how you deal with your kids can determine how well they weather the process of divorce. Continue reading →

Dealing with the Stigma of Divorce

sitgma-of-divorce

Despite the fact that up-to-half of all marriages end in divorce, it still seems to be spoken of in hushed voices with a raised brow and judgmental tone. I, too, once spoke of it in that way – before I knew better. I always thought divorce was for people who didn’t take their marriages seriously. After all, if you were truly committed, you could make it work, right?

When I learned that my preconceived notions of divorce were wrong, I found myself on the receiving end of hushed voices and raised eyebrows. I felt labeled and judged for a long time. Then, I realized the problem others had with my situation was because of their own preconceived notions and misunderstandings. I had to learn to respond to questions from them and myself in a healthy way. Continue reading →

The Divorce is Final – Should I Throw a Party?

The Divorce is Final - Should I Throw a Party?

You’ve signed the papers and everything is final. You are officially divorced. It’s time to get on with your life and bring closure to the past. Maybe you are thinking that you might want to host an event to mark this occasion and celebrate your future. The last few months or even years may have been very tough on you and your family, but now that it’s over, you may feel like celebrating. Continue reading →

Three Tips to Encourage Compromise in Divorce

Three Tips to Encourage Compromise in Divorce

When it comes to deciding how to divide property in a divorce, some people would just as easily choose a root canal without pain medicine over letting their former spouse get anything. Sometimes someone may be upset about the bigger picture and holding on to possessions might be a last ditch effort to hold onto something else. Sometimes someone feels so angry, he or she doesn’t want the ex to have anything. Continue reading →